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Nutjob In The Narutoverse Chapter 1

1 Chapter 1: A God Named Sue


I woke up in a bright room sleeping on a psychologist chair (you know, long couch type thing the shrinks let you lie down on in the movies) to a soft, feminine voice.

"Wake up sleepyhead" I looked over to see a gigantic, redheaded man in a bunny costume with the hood pulled down.

"What up doc?" I asked, not only because the disconnect between the voice and the muscled out Easter bunny, but also because last I checked I was definitely not in a psychologist office. After looking around once more I realized there was no doors or windows, not even a plant in the corner.

"Oh, you died and are here to talk about the afterlife." Said the walking roid advertisement in his alluring tone.

"So whats the options? Heaven, hell, reincarnation as a bunny in a world of foxes? Just what am I in for buddy?"

"Wait, you're not gonna ask about any of this? No 'How did I die? Who is this bugs bunny lookalike? Is he a guy or girl? Where is this?' Etc. etc."

"Nah, I'm good. But can I rub the bunny suit? I like fluffy things and that looks So. Dang. Fluffy." Leaping out of the chair, I rub my head against the fur. Its so soft I decide to take a nap on it while sitting on his lap and am asleep in seconds. Probably a minute or two later after sitting there, a confused expression on his face, he stands up, dropping me to the floor in the process.

"You! You! You're my new favorite person. You outweirded me in like ten seconds and I've been doing this for years."

"That's kinda my thing, Fluffball. And I wasn't completely trolling ya. I do like fluffy things and that thing is comfy. Can I get one too while we're in here? Preferably in crimson. Also, can we take this outdoors. I wanna see a desk in the middle of the woods"

Poof. I'm now wearing a fluffy red bunny suit and damn if it aint the warmest, softest thing ever. The desk is now in the middle of a clearing in the woods, sun shining down right on us. Leaves are fluttering in the wind while I lay down on the hammock that appeared with it.

"Good taste man."

"Okay, now that we're comfortable and our game is done, we should probably get to the nitty gritty."

"Yup, so what gonna happen to me?"

"Usually I'd just send you to a random world as a baby but with you, I'm thinking we should do something a bit more fun."

"If you want an assistant or something to mess with the newbies, I'm down." He looked a bit down once I said that.

"I would if I could but even I have to follow some rules"

"Aw damn, that would've been fun, especially if you can control this entire place. We could've done a lot with this place, build a treehouse, blow up a space station, draw whiskers on the Mona Lisa. Eh, too bad. I can go somewhere fun, though? Right? "

"Sure thing Brian. Oh, wait I just realized I never actually introduced myself. My name is Sue. I'm the god of primordial chaos, madness, and rebirth and a bunch of other minor things. My name is Sue."


"Hold up a sec. You're a boy named Sue? You get in a lot of fights, don't you."

"Good one. So I can basically send you wherever, whenever, except of course back to the world you died in. Any suggestions?"

"I wanna be in Naruto." Sue looked at me like I grew an extra head (entirely possible since Sue is the god of chaos).

"Really? That seems way too normal for you. Why there?"

"Well, since you asked I want to see just how batshit I can drive some of the main characters. Plus, there's so much possibility for mayhem. People can melt, disintegrate, blow up, and create stuff out of nothing. Sounds like a good time to me."

"Got it so Naruto world, check." He pulled out a clipboard and a damned quill and checked something off on a formerly nonexistent list.

"So what powers do you want, kid? Just to warn you, for every power you get, youre going to get a weakness, otherwise the balance goes out of whack."

"So basically, I want deidara's powers, hand mouths and all (i wonder if i can eat with those), a natural ability to do genjutsu, and a crazy amount of chakra. So what am i giving up for that?"

"I thought you'd give me a bit more of a challenge. Thats really making it easy on me. You sure you dont want anything else?"

"Nope"

"Perfect. So the negatives are you'll have more yin than yang chakra, meaning you'll look feminine and you'll find it harder to get physically strong."

"Meh, works for me. Lets get to it then. Woohoo"

"Okay, I'll send you over then. You ever need anything, just give me a call."

Everything went black and my journey started.
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